When Your Personal Style Isn’t Unicorn Vomit

Sometimes I think I overdo it.

Five skirts on top of each other? No problem. Head-to-toe ruffles? Zebra print? Fuschia sequins? I’ll take it. Most days, I want to fly high in a dizzying storm of neons and patterns. My mantra verges on more is more, and life is a Comme Des Garcons runway.

But there are other days when I just want to wear a breezy dress and a bow in my hair. And then– here’s where I come clean– a little voice inside my head will pipe up. You, wear just a dress? It says. I thought you wrote for Rethinking Style. Whatever happened to a dazzling new vision of quirkiness? How can you promote innovation if you can’t even accessorize effectively?

Then I panic and retie the bow on my foot.

…Just kidding. Sort of. But before you think I’m crazy, let me ask for your gut reaction. After all, what’s more interesting:

A white t-shirt, or a rainbow-striped one?

A simple sundress, or a multi-tiered flounced skirt slashed down the side and embellished with studs?

This:

Simple


Or This:

Interesting


…You get my drift.

But Phoebe in the Style Anxiety interview got me thinking. She said: “Remember that the only person you’re trying to impress is yourself. That if jeans and a sweater is what feels the best, then it IS the best…”

Indeed. I’ve been mulling over this for the last week, and I’ve finally concluded:

Individuality is golden. It doesn’t mean you have to wear gold.

Don’t get me wrong: I will always wholeheartedly encourage testing one’s own comfort zone and approaching style with an open mind. But if bangles stacked up to your elbows or striped bondage pants aren’t up your alley, remember that what is visually interesting does not necessarily equate thoughtful style.

You can absolutely care about what you wear and dress remarkably, without looking like what Gala Darling calls unicorn vomit! Style should feel like a full expression of your personality, not compensation for perceived lacks. In the superstar comments, Hayley calls this “believing that you are enough,” and Style, She Wrote mentioned not “trying to outdress” yourself. As always, I’m indebted to your intelligent input!

Tips for authentic dressing with individual flair:

It’s always good to rethink your style. Even if it’s already unusual and bold. I’m going to be doing just that.

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Extra illuminations and inquiry:

Jo of Living Savvy asks “Is pushing out of our comfort zone always a good thing?”

Sally at Already Pretty questions “the difference between dull and elegantly simple.”

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Posted by on Aug 25, 2010 in Articles | 17 comments
  • http://stylishthought.com Fajr | Stylish Thought

    This is something I struggle with as well. My friends have come to expect a certain over the top look from me and I feel like I have to own it even when I just want to wear something simple. Ultimately, Phoebe is right. The only person you should dress to impress is yourself. Great post!

  • http://modaforademoda.blogspot.com/ Fer

    “Individuality is golden. It doesn’t mean you have to wear gold”.

    this may just be my new motto :)

  • http://rethinkingstyle.com Tessa

    Thanks, Fajr! I’m so glad you can relate. Other people’s expectations can be a powerful influence, especially when we make them our own…!

  • http://rethinkingstyle.com Tessa

    Haha, awesome, though taken out of context, it kind of sounds like we’re boycotting jewelry or riches or something :P

  • http://thinkermaker.com.au Hayley : thinker maker

    Love this post!

    It’s something I’ve struggled with, but I’ve learnt that I’m pretty simple and practical, with a tiny bit of quirk. I like it better if the quirk is small, just enough for someone to say, hey that’s actually interesting, but not necessarily notice it upon first look.

    Although I can totally appreciate more dramatic looks as well, which is where the confusion was. It was kinda like I was telling myself ‘wow how awesome would I be if I could be the dramatic girl’, but I wasn’t really accepting who I am and believing that I am enough.

  • http://www.styleshewrote.com Style, She Wrote

    Thanks for visiting our blog and for your intelligent feedback. I found this post very thought provoking and wholeheartedly agree with Style Anxiety’s statement. You can only do — and dress — your personal dress. I think once people start trying to outdress themselves, they start looking like a wannabe rather than who they really are.

    Hope you come back soon. (I promise rants soon.)
    We’re now following. xo style, she wrote

  • http://www.styleshewrote.com Style, She Wrote

    I mean Phoebe! (Not Style Anxiety!) Sorry for the typo. lol

  • http://rethinkingstyle.com Tessa

    Yes, exactly! You are more than enough, and style should express that, not compensate for a perceived lack. Thank you, you make me want to go back and add that bit into the post ;)

  • http://rethinkingstyle.com Tessa

    Thank you for stopping by! “People trying to outdress themselves” – damn, you guys are coming up with some great lines in the comments! It makes me want to rewrite the whole thing :D

    Can’t wait for the rant. Keep me updated!

  • http://www.godsfavoriteshoes.com God’s Favorite Shoes

    I hate when people layer too much! I think that of those Olsen Twins. What the hell are they hiding under all of those clothes? An Empty Soul? A baby kangaroo? A Meth Lab?

    I love a simple easily pulled together look. It’s so much easier on the eyes and less brain work because that means I won’t sit there looking at that person wondering why they put on every piece!

    I’m so neurotic!

    (Thank you for awesome comment on my blog! I love when I make people laugh maniacally in their own homes when they really should be sleep:)

  • http://www.livingsavvy.com.au living savvy

    Thank you Tessa, for visiting my site, your wonderful comments and sharing the link with your readers.

    I have been doing a rethink on my personal style lately as I turned 40 earlier this year. I am going through a tranistion of creating a look that defines me but also embraces & celebrates my life expereince. It is work in progress. I agree that outdressing yourself is not a good look whatever your age.

  • http://rethinkingstyle.com Tessa

    Hahaha, fair enough. Though I think sometimes having to wonder why someone wears what they do is a fantastic thing, because it can raise questions about our own perceptions and comfort zone! I love how opinionated you are, though, and thanks for stopping by!

  • http://rethinkingstyle.com Tessa

    Hi Jo, thank you for visiting! It’s great to have your perspective here, and I can only imagine the trials and wonders of what you’re working through in your style redefinition. Would love to know how you’re celebrating your life experience through your look- keep me updated!

  • http://suburbanyogini.com Rachel @ Suburban Yogini

    A fabulous post and so true. My personal style involves a lot of black layering topped with some “unusual” accessories. It’s my way of keeping the unicorn vomit at bay!!

    Thanks for visiting my blog :)

  • http://rethinkingstyle.com Tessa

    Unicorn vomit isn’t always a bad thing, but definitely keep it at bay if it’s not your style :) thanks for commenting!

  • Ryan

    Golden individuality doesn’t imply that you must wear gold? Says who?

  • http://rethinkingstyle.com Tessa

    Hahaha, Ryan, please wear all the gold you can possibly muster. But it’s hard work being the golden boy, you know, and some of us aren’t up for it ;)

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