Style Anxiety? Interviews on wearing confidence, magic, and self-love.

Today, I want to address what I’ve dubbed as Style Anxiety: The feeling that holds us back from wearing what we truly love.

I’m pretty sure 99% of us want to dress authentically to our own selves and wear things that make us happy.  The trouble is, we’re also afraid of being judged, of “standing out too much,” or just held back for one reason or another from unrestrained expression. Hence why so many leopard prints and harem pants languish in closets, forever unworn.

As much as I advocate radical dress, I’ll be the first to admit that I get style anxiety all the time. It happens sometimes when I try out crazy restyling in public, don hemlines just a tad too short for comfort, or contemplate a certain pair of flamboyant Versace jeans sitting in the drawer! I’m telling you, style anxiety, or SA for short, happens to everyone. Even experienced stylists will find themselves in its clutches at times (or possibly even more, given their need to live up to reputation!)

But clearly, some people deal with SA far better than others. The difference? As Susan Jeffers famously put it,

To break down the process of doing so, I asked for help from a few style connoisseurs who always seem to be able to pull anything off. I know each of these superstars in real life, and they each absolutely, unashamedly dress true to their words below. It’s my pleasure to share their wisdom with you all!

INTERVIEWS

So, what goes through your mind when you get dressed?

ODY: I think of every outfit as another lesson in art, design, and performance. I think my illustration sensibilities have made answering this question a lot more fun for me. Fashion has become an opportunity to explore color palettes, analyze the power of shape/silhouette, and evoke specific characters and emotions through visuals. So while I’m getting dressed I think of how the clothes I’m wearing will be an extension of my persona, or “markers” of my identity.

PHOEBE: Color, for me, is the biggest factor. I begin with what colors really pop together, which patterns mixed with solids combine well, etc. I tend to get obsessive about cool toned to warm toned ratios- if I’m wearing mostly blue and green, I usually throw in a yellow or orange necklace, or red shoes to make things pop.

MARTEEN: I try to make it fun, and put things on that I haven’t worn together before. For me, mixing costume with everyday basics, like socks and a sweater with a zebra unitard, is like putting magic into the mundane.

Do you ever get style anxiety? If so, when does it tend to happen? Secret weapon for dealing with it?

MARTEEN: Sometimes I get style anxiety when I’m about to leave my house. I take one last look in the mirror, and ask myself, “Am I too dressed up to go grocery shopping?” The answer is usually yes, but in the end what’s the point in owning things that you love if you never put them on?

PHOEBE: For me, anxiety comes when trying to dress at 7am in February, it’s pitch black outside, you’re trying not to wake up your roommate, have to get to class, eat breakfast, and do your homework all in half an hour.  Nothing feels right, you change seven times, and end up leaving your room in a rush, feeling disgruntled and unsatisfied.

On these mornings, take a deep breath. Remember that the only person you’re trying to impress is yourself. That if jeans and a sweater is what feels the best, than it IS the best. Though I believe taking time to decorate yourself is important, your sanity is more important, and sometimes simple and comfortable wins the prize.

ODY: The closest thing to style anxiety for me would be tiring of the clothes that I already have. Though the answer just lies in creating new outfits (e.g. buy more clothes or thinking of ways to expand and innovate your wardrobe.) But in the end, my secret weapon is self-love. If you love yourself, your clothes will love you back!

What advice do you have for readers looking to build up their style confidence?

PHOEBE: PLAY DRESS-UP- it’s the number one way to build confidence about your body and style. Try to save room in your schedule for when it’s just you, some music, clothes and your mirror. Wear glitter and flowers in your hair, wear red socks and a tutu and sexy lingerie even when no-one else will see it.

Also, nothing pains me more than seeing someone with a fabulously crazy outfit, with eyes on the ground shuffling in a cloud of self-apology and insecurity. Never apologize for your fashion choices: if you’re going to wear it, there’s no choice but to wear it well with your shoulders back and a smile on your face! Taking time to make yourself look beautiful is the key to feeling beautiful.

ODY: It’s just a matter of putting in the work (the same rules apply to pretty much anything. . . ). If you’re not happy with your style, make the most outrageous changes that you can. Then take a few steps back and try to bridge that change.

MARTEEN: There is no point in playing it safe when it comes to fashion. No one can control what people think of you, but you can decide what to show them.

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A huge thank you to my three interviewees. I found it especially fascinating how much self-empowerment figured in all the responses, and just reading them gave me a jolt of style confidence. SA begone! You guys are truly inspiring.

If you feel similarly, or want to chime in with your opinion, please leave a comment below! We would love to hear your feedback, & let me know if you’d like to see more of these interviews in the future.

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